Sofia’s Neighborhood

For the last few days I've been using Photoshop quite a lot, from doing a few graphics for a school friend to a bit of image manipulation to impress a lady friend. 

What's the best date you've ever been on? What about the worst?
Brought to you by Leap Year. In theaters tomorrow.

The best date - the one on which I met the woman to whom I am now married.  It was a blind date that actually worked out.

The worst date - probably the one where the gal kept falling asleep because she'd been out late the night before ... with another guy ... that it turned out she was pregnant by ... so, yeah, that was pretty bad.  I mainly lament the money I spent on the (insert choice description here).

What do you want to do before you die?
Sponsored by MTV’s "The Buried Life". Premieres January 18 at 10PM PT/ET.

Celebrate my 227th birthday ...

Oh-Ten? Two-thousand and ten? Ten? What will you say when you have to say 2010 aloud?

Twenty ten, of course.

"Hey, is that bomb-making material in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?"

Gosh, I missed so much good stuff!!

Morning all,

I promised pictures but as yet I only have one.  It was too dark to get the huge snowman on, but this one I believe is taller than me - that's a feat in itself.

I call him Frank, in honour of my favouritest girl in the whole world, Jenn.

SNOWMAN

It's my neighbour's snowman.  There's another one on the right of the pic in the distance, and more off shot on the right again.  It's a convention!

I will get out tomorrow when it's still light and take some more, especially of the huge one round the corner.

Wow, I really got on a roll!

 I just want to write a quick note to say that my wife and I had a pretty nice Christmas.  It was odd since it was the first holiday season with just the two of us, but we made out just fine.  

Someone asked me if I missed my dad since he moved off to Michigan.  I looked at my 2008 and 2009 appointment calendars, and saw all the appointments I had to take my dad to last year while I was off work for the holidays, and said - “Hell no.”

It was nice having a peaceful day - despite my ramblings about the weather and my wife (which everyone should know by now are all written with tongue firmly planted in cheek) - it was enjoyable.

- - -

One last thing I have to squeeze in - my wife asked what I wanted for supper tonight.  I hate that question, because I really don’t care.  She decided she was going to make stew because it’s so cold outside, and “that way you’ll be warm when you go to work.”

Which makes me wonder just how damned hot she’s going to make this stew???  Knowing her, I’ll be eating at 5:30 … and not going to work until 10:30!

But, I guess, I should at least be glad that she cares.

          I am only going to say this once …
          I went through and read all of the blogs from my neighborhood.  I saw all the happy little posts about snow and how lovely it was and how nice it was and how pretty it was …

          BULLSHIT!

          Snow is awful!  Snow is the devil’s dandruff!  Snow, quite simply, sucks!

          In my humble opinion, anyway.

          Southwestern Oklahoma, where I call home, is usually dry, windy, and c-o-l-d this time of year.  But we can live with it because of that first descriptive word in that sentence - DRY.  This year, though, we got the worst snowstorm in 80 years!  (Was that Al Gore I heard crying whilst still trying to convince me that the earth is warmer?)
          All those people singing, “I’m dreaming of a white Christmas” choked on their words this year … or were choked by the people who got stranded on Hwy 287 for 18 hours waiting for the National Guard to come rescue them.  Hey, when even Wal-Mart shuts down on Christmas Eve because of the weather, you KNOW it’s bad!

          Next Christmas, I’m going to visit GOF in Cairns, and sit on his beach doodling in the sand, and let you all have your “beautiful“ snow.   
          And I might not come home …

          (In no part is any of this to imply that I am offering myself up as free labor for cement mixing or any other physical activity besides said doodling.  Let it also be noted that I do not posses a passport, so the likelihood of my actually making it to Australia is pretty slim.  But it’s a nice thought as I hear the wind howling outside.)

          Okay … in about nine hours my vacation officially ends.  
          On one hand I’m going to miss actually living like a normal human being - sleeping at night, peeing when I have to and not when I get a chance (work related … and will not be explained), and just vegging out.
          On the other hand, I’ll be kind of glad to get away from my wife for at least the eight hours I’m at the hell-hole.  Oh I love her … very much … but you know what they say about too much of a good thing.  (Does that sound sweet enough to get me out of the dog house if she happens to walk in to the room and look over my shoulder?)

          When people ask me what I plan to do on my vacation, my answer usually is - “sleep.”  Because I work at night, I seem to be sleep deprived most of the time.  My plans for vacation are usually just to get a good (at least) 8 hours of sleep a night and feel refreshed.
          That’s the plan … didn’t quite work out that way this time.

          We are having renovations done on the house.  I will write an entire series of blogs on this subject - complete with photos (!) - at a later time … all I’ll mention now is that on 12/21/09 when I started my leave, I came home, took a shower, got dressed, and then the workers showed up.  I finally got to bed at about 10 or so that evening … after approximately 32 hours awake.  
          Yeah, 32 hours.
          And then I slept for a whole 5 to 6 hours.  
          Seriously, I was wide-eyed and bushy-tailed (no photos of that, drat!) at about 3:30AM.  When you’re used to being up all night …
          I got up and quietly went downstairs so as not to bother my wife.  I sat in my recliner in an attempt to cat-nap for a few hours.  My wife, however, noticed my absence and came down to see what the problem was.  No amount of, “I’m fine … go back to bed” did any good … so I went ahead and got dressed and waited for the workers to show up.  
          That evening exhaustion finally set in, and I fell asleep in front of the TV.  That always pisses me off, because it means I won’t sleep well when I go to bed.  I finally decided to not sweat it, and just let myself relax.  So what if I slept for two hours in the evening and then for “only” seven hours at night … at least I was catching up on all the missed zzz’s, right?

          Also, this was the week that the BLIZZARD hit and I didn’t even go outside for five days.  There’s still snow on the ground (in the shady spots) … something that NEVER happens here.  Anyway, so I didn’t really have anything to do but sleep.
          Oh, and play this PC game that I’d become obsessed with, to the point of annoying myself with it.  Basically (not that anyone cares), it’s an “Age of Empires” type game that has no “save” button.  The game plays on even when you’re not there.  I got tired of worrying about people raiding my cities while I was trying to relax and enjoy the holidays … and REALLY got pissed at some guy for trying to take one of my cities while I was TRYING to watch the Fiesta Bowl … so I got up early the next morning and unleashed Hell on the mofo … and then deleted the game.

          And so I think I caught up on all missed sleep, although I got up way too early this morning because I was thinking about it.  
          I also missed out on having to drive to work in the blizzard.  It is cold as heck outside right now (wind chill around zero … minus 18C), and will only be colder and windier tonight, but at least it’s dry.  

          The funniest joke I’ve heard lately …

          A door-to-door salesman walks up to a house and rings the doorbell.  
          The door is answered by a 12-year-old boy wearing a bra, panties, fishnet stockings, a blonde wig and with his face made up to look just like Marilyn Monroe.  The boy is smoking a cigar and drinking from a bottle of vodka.
          The stunned salesman asks, “Are your parents at home?”
          “What the fuck do you think?”