10.23 p.m Confessions

nobody@vox.com(Sofia) — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 23:00:31 +0100

I still listen to boy-bands such as Westlife and Backstreet boys and like it. And not in a "oh this is so nostalgic it reminds me of when..." kind of way, I genuinely like it. It's wasy going, you can easily sing along to it and it becomes familiar after a single listening. There is times I wish I listened to more complex music, with a deeper meaning (and less commercial appeal) but when it comes down to it I am a simple girl. Happy, easy going pop music is my thing nine times out of ten.
I think myself smarter than pretty much everyone I meet, and I wish to remain so with as little effort as possible. It's not an attractive thing in a person, I know that (the interesting thing here is that I hate others that's like this), which is why I never ever say it but rather think it to myself...But still it's there, as a part of my strangely split personality. I'm truly trying to be less of a judgemental person and I think I am making a lot of progress (as I discover myself that it's very easy to make misstakes and to blurt out stupid things), but still when it comes down to it the area concerning intelligence is the one where my self-esteem is ridiculously high.
The times when I don't talk about it are the ones when I feel the worst. So you never really have to worry about me when I'm bitching, it's what I do and it's a good way to prevent myself from getting to that state when I feel really shitty. When I do though, not even I can put it into words (it's not often at all though).
I attended confirmation reading when I was 15 even though I have always known that I'm an atheist. It's not good I know, the believers among you will probably frown when you read this, and I think I can understand that. Why? you may ask. Because it's a tradition I guess...and for the gifts. Ha ha, I really am a sinner down to the very core of my being...but I like it that way. Still if this statement is offensive to someone of course I am sorry about that. I live my life very differently than some (and just like so many others, but try to understand what I want to say here) and it's my intention to be happy in doing so, not to hurt anyone.
I don't really know if I like children or not. As a woman (hell as a person, gender issues aside) I suppose I should, but I'm not sure. Children make me feel confused. They are small and fragile and they look at me funny...and when they sceam or throw tantrums in the supermarket I want to hit them with something. But they are cute too and nothing is as wonderful as the laughter of a child.
I'm scared that people talk to me to be polite, but doesn't actually like me. I'm a little paranoid I guess, and sometimes my self-esteem is so low it's not even funny. Enough said.

I could ramble on...or actually that's a lie. For the time being (believe it or not) I can't think of anything more to own up to, or to write about. The clock has reached 11 and I'm going to...well I don't know really. Not sleep, that's for sure, I'm not even a little tired yet...But I'll think of something.

Oyasuminasai mina-san! (^ _ ^) Matane!

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

QotD: New Year's Resolution

nobody@vox.com(Sofia) — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 00:07:44 +0100

What's your New Year's resolution for 2010?

Have none.

I never keep them anyway.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Quote of the day (night rather...)

nobody@vox.com(Sofia) — Sun, 03 Jan 2010 00:57:46 +0100

"I believe in evidence. I believe in observation, measurement, and reasoning, confirmed by independent observers. I'll believe anything, no matter how wild and ridiculous, if there is evidence for it. The wilder and more ridiculous something is, however, the firmer and more solid the evidence will have to be."
- Isaac Asimov

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

時計じかけのアンブレラ　嵐

nobody@vox.com(Sofia) — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 18:44:01 +0100

【高画質】時計じかけのアンブレラ　嵐

I just found this song and I really love it!

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

2010...

nobody@vox.com(Sofia) — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 18:27:03 +0100

It's a new year, a new decade even...but it feels the same. Wouldn't you agree?
Ha ha, not that I thought that it would feel different, I mean it's just a number in the calendar, it doesn't really mean anything. Time would pass even if we didn't label it (after all it did before the Gregorian calendar) so the passing from one year to another isn't really that big of a deal.

Still it is a new year, and with it comes the possibility to make changes....But no, I am not making any promises this year. I never keep them anyway, and only end up feeling bad about making them in the first place...so I figured the best way to keep sane is to not put so much pressure on myself.
...Because you can still make your life better without all that, so why bother?

My sister and her friend hopes to fall in love during the new year, and really...don't we all? I know I do anyway, as I have hoped so for quite a number of years now (ha ha, as you very well know I suppose). It'll come to me too one day, so why not this year..?

2010 will be my year. I will make it my year, and that's that.

Hi hi...since this weekend is my last home in Trollhättan with my family for this time I will probably not start all the classical start-of-a-new-year things (like start to exercise more and eat better..and all those things -just because I didn't promise it that doesn't mean I won't do it - you know what I mean, ne?) until Sunday or Monday though...

Who says that you can't start the new year a few days late??? I think you can...but anyway...

I hope your New Years Eve was a great one! Talk to you later guys!

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

~ ☆ HAPPY NEW YEAR! ☆ ~

nobody@vox.com(Sofia) — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 11:10:40 +0100

Bild1

I love you all, I really do, and I hope you'll have the most *wonderful* New Years Eve!

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

~ 2009: A recap ~

nobody@vox.com(Sofia) — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 23:08:39 +0100

So tomorrow is new years eve...Has this year gone by fast or has it gone by really fast? I opt for really fast. Not to sound like the little old ladies that sit around a coffee table wondering where their life went, but gees how time flies by sometimes...He he, this year has been quite eventful, and I suppose maybe that's why it went by so quickly. ..Or I don't know, I'm just guessing. Irregardless the reason though, I feel like the recap of 2008 was just here....and now I'm trying to wrap up yet another year.

...It's not the easiest thing in the world. I have to:
1) Remember if it in fact was this year that certain events unfolded and not 2007 (I tend to get things mixed sometimes/quite often).
2) Remember in which order they happened (gome ne if things come in the wrong order anyway...I suppose you'll remember it anyway..).
3) Determine if they are significant enough to include in this post (it's not like I can write about everything that occurred, such a post would never ever end).
Anyways....here I go. In 2009 I:

Moved into my current apartment in Lund. This is one of the pictures I posted back then...It's a lot more things (and furniture) in it now, but since we're looking back I thought that it was appropriate.

New Home with furniture 1

I love this apartment, a lot has happened in it already and a lot more is to come...I hope >_< He he, no but seriously I really feel at home in this place and in Lund and I am happy that I will be staying there for at least two and a half year longer (that's how much I have left of the program in which I am currently studying).

Lund is my home now, I truly feel like I belong there (except perhaps for the accent, mine is significantly different from the one they speak in the south of Sweden ^o^). During the year I have taken loads of photos of this place I love so much and of my experiences back in Trollhättan (where I grew up, in case someone still doesn't remember that) and I wanted to share some of them once more too:

Springtime

This is the oldest one I could find that was of Lund...it's from last spring. Looking at it now I really wish that this most *wonderful* of seasons could come quickly. It's so green and bright and beautiful and the temperature is just the right one for me. Awww....

Then came summer (and I found myself back in Trollhättan with my family):

View

I can very much remember taking this photo. It was in the middle of the night (or late at least) and as usual I couldn't sleep...And it was really bright outside because it was summer. Don't remember the post quite as well but I'm quite sure that it wasn't that innovative (the night posts rarely are)..

We (my family and I) went to the coast one glorious summer day too. This really is Sweden at its best if you ask me, even though you'd have to visit these places yourself (and not just look at photos) to really appriciate them.

Coast 001

Coast 014

Anyways...there are loads more from spring and summer photo wise but I thought I'd speak a little about what happend during this tume as well so it'll have to do like this (I want someone to be able to get through this entire post without falling asleep out of sheer boredom).

I kissed a guy for the first time. (This happened in the spring of 2009) The story is terribly long and involves a lot of alcohol, a classmate and a me that just needed someone to want her, which might sound bad...but actually it's an experience that I still think back on fondly. There never was anything between me and the guy and didn't become after that incident either, but that doesn't matter to me because I never had that kind of interest in him (it was purely a matter of desire..you know what I mean ne? >_<). I don't think he still think anything of it and I suppose that I don't really either...it's just one of those things that happen...but in the same way he'll always be a little special just for that reason.

He he, it sounds sappy and sentimental, but I guess I am sappy and sentimental then (sssshhh, don't tell anyone). And it's not like I have ever said that to anyone, or are planning to do so either...I don't think anyway (you never know of course, but it's such a long time ago now so why would I?

The only problem with this occurence (which is also a major thing that happened this year) is the fact that it lead to my first and (hopefully only) argument with my best friend Michaela. To make a (very very) long story short I didn't tell her what happened, because I was a little embarassed (no matter what I thought about it, it's not something that I would normally do...not back then at least >_<, and the guy was a class mate which complicated things a little)...and so it took a while before she found out...Or lets say before I had to tell her because apparently he had told other people, people that I didn't want to tell Michaela. She felt terribly betrayed about the fact that I had kept this from her, that I hadn't trusted our friendship enough to tell her, and for a few days I was sure that I was going to loose her forever. After a long talk, with a lot of tears from my side, we worked it out though...and in retrospect our friendship came out stronger after the whole thing.

It was awful...but it's in the past now and I think we should move on so that we can get through the whole year. Let's talk about something more cheerful shall we? I think so.

I discovered the Korean version of Hana Yori Dango, "Boys over flowers" in the summer of 2009! Even though I am a Matsumoto Jun fan all the way, and hence love the Japanese version sooooo much, I still think this version is highly addicitve and absolutely *wonderful* as well. Lee Min Ho plays Go Jun Pyo and Koo Hye Sun plays Geum Jan Di, the main couple (Tsukasa and Makino in HYD) and they're absolutely amazing together.

Boys before flowers the kiss

And this drama has more! It also has another lovely pairing, namely Kim Bun as So Yi Jung and Kim So Eun as Chu Ga Eul.

.,,..,.

"Throw away your misconception that all good girls want nice guys."

Last but not least this drama also has the gorgeous, the talented, the over all wonderful (!) Kim Hyun Jong! He's playing Yoon Ji Ho.

Yoon Ji Hoo sleeping

Oh...and T-max's Kim Joon (second from the rigth) is there too, he plays Soong Wo Bin.

F4-k

Okay so, he he...this drama got a lot of attention. But it's so great it deserves it. I loved every single episode of it and even now I can feel excited when I see clips from it even though I know how it turns out...and have seen it quite a lot more than once....but how can one not get excited when such good looking guys take part in such a sweet story? I mean look at them (!)...gorgeous!

What happened more...hm...?

The autumn came and I started a new program. As I suppose you know, I am now studying to get a bachelors degree in Behavioural science (with emphasis on psychology). It's a real profession, because I realized that it was about time to get a hold of myself...I have no trustfond to fall back on, no one that will support me if I don't work myself...and I wouldn't want that even if I did. So I made a grown up decision and I started the studies that I have now done one semester of.

So far I love it. The people are great (I even miss them a little, which is a true sentiment to how much I actually like them...I rarely miss people) and the subject is interesting. There is a structure to my life now that I haven't felt in a long time (if ever). I am going somewhere, towards a real kind of independence that I have never seen before....Honestly I am still not sure if my mind has wrapped itself around the seriousness of it, but then again who need that? I am going to enjoy myself right now, trying not to think so much about what to come. Carpe diem, as they say. It's a worn out cliché of a motto, but it's a good one and now that I have a set path to walk on (for a little while at least) I can follow it a little more.

And with that we have reached the fall weather.. the rain that comes with it in this country ^o^

Lazy_Saturday 003

This fall was filled with things. Besides starting the new program I've also had a much more eventful social life than ever before. I won't count the number of posts that's talking about either, alcohol, going out or being hungover, but I suspect that there are quite a lot of them...

Absolut Vodka-Vanilla

Sourz

He he...mix these two and you have an appletini (you've gotta love Scrubs and Zach Braff/J.D for introducing this drink).

Anyway, I was always afraid of drinking alcohol...of losening to my extremely tight grip on myself and reality, if just being, for once not thinking so much about every single little thing, but...

As it turns out: I like it!

I really have changed a lot since I moved to Lund. But it's a good change though, I needed to learn how to let loose once in a while, so I am happy about it.

And speaking about letting loose...I slept with a guy for the first time this year too. Again, he was (still is) a class mate, and again there was alcohol involved (it really sounds like I am drunk a lot, but believe me that's not the case...things just tend to happen when I am)....Not as much alcohol this time though.

There is nothing between me and this guy either, but the difference is that I do like him (I think...) and if he wanted me (for more than a night)...he would have me. Still if I get nothing more than that one night, I am happy about that too. I wanted him then, I am not as innocent in mind as I am in action...so I knew perfectly what I did when I brought him with me home (he asked if he could sleep at my place, since his last bus had left, but I readily agreed)...Michaela (I told her the day after it happened, we have no secrets now days) even suggested that I knew befor that...that she suspected something like that would happen. Perhaps she's right. I saw an opportunity to get something I wanted, and I went for it. And I would do it again.

>_< I told you that I'm not as innocent as I seem.

And then Winter came....and I discovered the music of Adam Lambert.

For your entertainment

For your entertainment 001

01 Music Again

Adam Lambert

I have a soft spot for guys with eyeliner, and Mr. Lambert sings like so *amazingly* that my knees go weak!

Music again is just one of the songs that I love (!!!), all of is record is completely wonderful...it makes me (me of all people) want to dance around my apartment in pure joy. His music is filled with energy and the lyrics just add another dimension to it.

(In case someone hasn't heard of him, Adam Lambert finished second on the previous season of American Idol, Kris Allen was the winner).

I might upload some more tracks some day (I have his album, as you can see above), because I think everyone should hear them...but for now I should finish this very very long post.

Then came the SNOW and I (together with a few of my classmates that's not from the south and hence more used it ut than they are in Lund) was so happy. I figured that Lund was going to get snowed in though, (you remember this post ne?, it's not long ago at all) and tried as hard I could not to fall...because it was terribly slippery and I am very clumsy (or very clumsy really).

Snow 014

Gosh I remember looking out the window smiling because it was a real winter for once...and at the same time wondering how the h*ll I was going to get to school in one piece (luckily it didn't snow during the time I was walking to school most days). It's still a lot of snow, in case someone was wondering, but I think some might have gone away in Lund...here in Trollhättan it's a white winter for sure.

And last but not least CHRISTMAS!

.,,,,

It has just passed so I don't think I have to write a lot about it...

Ha ha, okay this was the recap of 2009. I have probably left out a lot that should have been in here, and included things that might not have needed to be...but I don't really care about that. As far as I can remember at the moment, this is basically what happened during the last year of the first decade of the 2nd millenium. It's 01.11 at night now, the last day of the year, and I should really go to bed as soon as I have finished this. Just have to add tags too...gosh there will be a million of them. Oh and gome ne if I have spelled like a crazy person, the spell check didn't want to work and I am starting to get tired...

Oyasuminasai mina-san! And thank you all so much for this year!

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

~ ☆♥ My Christmas, some photos ♥☆ ~

nobody@vox.com(Sofia) — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 10:54:41 +0100

I have finally gotten around to uploading some pictures of the Nilsen family Christmas to my computer. Apparently I took 53 of them (dunno when that happened, I didn't think I had the camera out that often...but I guess I had) so I won't show you guys all, but I thought I'd share a small selection at least...Looking through them a lot of them were strange ones of my sisters in pyjamas, but at least there are a few that's fit for public viewing...

...,.

☆♥☆♥☆ The Christmas tree! ☆♥☆♥☆

.,,,,

.,,.,.,.,.

Me and my sisters! ...they would probably kill me if they knew that I uploaded this picture (for some reason they alway think they look dumb in pictures), but what they won't know won't hurt them >_<

Anway. The one in the middle is Stina. She's our baby still even though she turned 13 this year...I don't think she'll ever really stop being the kid in the family, hi hi. Sarah is the one on the right, she's 2 years younger than me and she has always been "the pretty one". (You guys have never seen my sisters before, have you?)
...And then there's me! I look a bit odd but what the hell... ^o^ Do you like my new haircolor?

He he, these were all I could find. There is like 20 ones of our Christmas tree (don't ask me why) and a few of my relatives but none of them are particulary good so this'll have to do for the time being...

Have a great day everyone! (^ _ ^) Matane!

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

30.000 visitors, Eternally grateful

nobody@vox.com(Sofia) — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 00:50:52 +0100

My visitors counter has reached 30.000, and in a way I can barely believe it. It's not as much as some of the really successful blogs have, but it is a lot more than I ever thought I would get. My life isn't particularly eventful, I am no person of significance or one that has a lot of great thoughts. No I'm just a girl like so many others, sometimes a whole lot stranger but usually quite like everyone else (or well, it's mostly people that doesn't know me so well that think that, but still)...

So I am amazed by the fact that so many check out this place so often, that my life can be of interest to such a big number of people. And I am eternally grateful. I don't know what I ever did to deserve the kindness you all send my way, all the kind words you send my way irregardless what strange thing I do.

In all honesty I don't think it's possible for me to put into words how much I appreciate your support. You're all so much more dear to me than I ever thought people on the Internet could be. No matter what happens I know that you'll be here for me, and I am really trying to be as good to you all as you are to me...if I don't show it properly I am truly sorry about that. Know that this place helps me keep sane, gives me an outlet whenever and whatever I need one and that I (for the time being anyway) don't quite know if I could function without it.

I hope that I'm getting through to you with these words. It's 12.45 in the middle of the night and I am listening to ABBA's "Happy New Year" (song below) and feeling nostalgic...so my words might not be completely coherent....You all know how I get during the night...

Happy New Year (ABBA)

Just know how much you mean to me, okay?
And in case I forget to say it later...Happy New Year!

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Restless, Or the story of random ramblings

nobody@vox.com(Sofia) — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 11:39:05 +0100

,.,...,

Good morning guys. Well technically it might not be morning anymore (11.30, can you call that morning?), but since I've only just finished breakfast and getting dressed it feels like it is so...I'm still at my parents house, in case someone didn't know (I'll be staying here for about a week longer, past New Years) and don't get me wrong I love it here - I would have been terribly lonely in Lund - but at the moment I am terribly restless. Back home I have things to do even though they might not be so fun, like cleaning waching, cooking and such, but since every such thing here is done by my parents (yes I am still that spoiled) I end up without anything to do.

And so here I sit in my bed with my computer in my lap and music from "Absolute 90's" (my sister got it for Christmas, it's nostalgia on a very high level) in my ears. It's not that bad for now I guess, but rather it's the notion that I could do this all day that makes me feel so bored. We've been through this before, I am a person that needs to have things to do to be able to enjoy relaxation, and so that's why I don't know what to do with myself right now. I could (or perhaps should would be the more accurate word in this case) read some in my psychology book - I have a little more than half of it left and the test is on January 18th - but I don't want to. Yeah I know, saying that I have only myself to blame for being restless, but that's who I roll...you guys know this. It's messed up but then again so am I (in sooo many ways) so it's not a lot to do about it ^o^ I was thinking about going for a walk but it's so much snow I don't know if it might do more harm than good (i.e. I would fall down and brake a leg or something instead of getting some well needed exercise)...I still might brave the elements and do it anyway though, we'll see.

Oh! Speaking of nothing...Did I tell you that I am a redhead now days? Hi hi, I didn't did I? Anyways I am. I got a new haircut (well an update of the old one) and color on the 23rd! It's really red, but I like it...it suits my temper. A photo is coming up, I promise, but for now I don't have any makeup and look quite messy over all so it'll have to wait until another day. Okay? *Yawn*, I really have to get a hold of myself and do something because this is going to drive me crazy. You can only stare at a computer screen for so long before it becomes too boring...especially when said computer screen looks the same no matter how many times you update it.

I've discovered something about myself (speaking of nothing once more, it's a lot of that going around at the moment it seems): I miss my class. This might not sound so strange to most of you, since it's natural to miss people you're used to seeing several time a week, but the ones who have read this blog the longest might understand how it's significant for me. Belive m, I don't mean to sound all difficult and unapprochable, but I have a hard time really connecting with people. Sure I can talk to almost anyone about almost anything (as long as the subjects in question are shallow) but it's not that common that I really feel at home with people...or at least it take quite a while. So it's a little strange for me to discover that I miss them, a little strange but quite nice. It'd be bad if I didn't, ne? (I think it would). I miss some more than others (which ones are for me to know, and you guys to - perhaps - find out), but still I miss most of them, the group as such, over all...

I'm so bored! Hm....sorry about that, but I am. I really can't think of anything to do, and no one else in the family seem to be bothered by the fact that they don't have anything to do...so I suppose it's up to me to think of something. And we've already established that that's not something I am good at. So I'm afraid I am going to have to be bored. Crap. I'll talk to you guys later to tell if I did think of something or not.

Have a great day! (^ _ ^) Matane!

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

*10.23 p.m Confessions*

QotD: New Year's Resolution

Quote of the day (night rather...)

時計じかけのアンブレラ 嵐

2010...

~ ☆ HAPPY NEW YEAR! ☆ ~

~ 2009: A recap ~

~ ☆♥ My Christmas, some photos ♥☆ ~

30.000 visitors, Eternally grateful

Restless, Or the story of random ramblings

10.23 p.m Confessions

時計じかけのアンブレラ　嵐