178 posts tagged “me”
Today has been a pretty great day.
I don't really know why, because it's not like anything extraordinary has happened, but for some reason I've felt totally *amazing* all day ^_^
I took this picture of myself just before I left the house earlier. Since I'd been on a power-walk and had a pretty healthy breakfast (omelet) I felt quite good about myself.
Hi hi...I'm ridiculously happy about this picture actually, I'm almost never able to take pictures of myself in the mirror (somehow they always end up white...because of the flash I guess). Yay for me! ♥ ^_^ ♥
Dunno why I took this photo to be honest. I was walking into town and I saw this bush and it was like...ooo, I wanna take a picture of that. Have no idea why, don't ask me how my strange mind works.
Happiness! Who knows why I one moment felt so happy that I wanted to laugh out loud all by myself. I certainly don't, in fact it was a little odd (I am happy over all, but most of the time not that happy, I almost never smile like this).
But hey, who cares!? ^_^ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ I don't. I take these moments when they come to me. Messy hair and all I'm gonna hold on to this picture and the feeling I had when I took it.
Food!
Picture 1: Food as it looked in the caseroll..this is suppose to be good for 2 days (because I'm really poor at the moment and I don't have a lot of groceries at home).
Picture 2: Dinner! It's the biggest meal I get to have today, because everything I have at home must last as long as possble (I have money, but not a lot, and it's quite some time until new ones come..so it's better to skimp now). I just put some things in there, and it tasted really good! Yay for me, I'm learning how to cook.
Also: I bought a Breast cancer awareness ribbon!
That must be good karma, ne? Ha ha, I think so at least (I need some good karma see, because my life could use a little bit of luck).
Ki o tsukete mina-san! (^_^) Matane!
Did you ever run away from home?
Nope. Nor did I get lost in the supermarket or leave for a friends house without telling my parents (the latter might be in the "run away" category though..)..or anything in that would even remotely fit into this group actually.
I have always been a very cautious person, never doing things that would put me at risk (which running away from home would, hence: I never did). In fact V. (the guy from my class that gave me my very first kiss) used to tease me (in a nice way though) saying that I'm afraid of everything.
One night walking home from being out (he followed me because I don't care to walk home) I told him that I like walking in the dark, but then I don't dare to because there's so much that can happen. Then he laughed and said just this..that I'm scared of everything..My reply to him was that No, I'm not afraid of everything, just everything that's dangerous. He he...I'm quite happy with that reply actually.
Anyways, I'm spacing out. Gome ne about that guys.
I just wanted to make a point and I guess I exaggerated a bit. But you know that I do that's. It's why you keep coming here, ne?
Ki o tsukete mina-san! (^ _ ^) Matane!
Aaahhh...the first whole day back in Lund.
It's been nice, very nice even ^_^. The weather is pleasant, warm not hot, and it's been almost zero minutes of boredom (ha ha, I said almost...I'm always bored a minute or two at least during the course of a day, that's just who I am).
I have exercised, cooked, read Elle (love that magazine) and been to the store (plus some more domestic type things that I'm not going to bore you with) and now I am (except blogging of course, duh!) painting my nails and watching "Privileged". Oh if I could live that kind of life...
Ha ha! I took this picture when I walked into town (to go to the store, I needed coffee filters) and I must say that I'm just now noticing that I have sort of a weird look >_<...well whatever...
Oh and I almost forgot! ♥I'm going to the hairdresser tomorrow!♥
Cut and color, both very well needed at this time...I'm not sure if you can tell in this picture but my hair really isn't in the best condition (neither is the color) so it's about time.
It's one of my favourite things to do you know (you do, ne?)..the other one is reorganizing my book-case (very nerdy I know, but I truly love it). So...YAY!
Anyway, I have a question for you guys: How do you get your Imeem playlist to play the whole songs, not just like the chorus (15 seconds I think it is...incredibly annoying)???
This really is a problem see, because my other playlist (from projectplaylist.com) stopped working..some crap about the music not being authorized in my country or w/e (it was something like that anyway). And I really, really want music on my blog. Really. So HELP. Onegai.
Hm...yeah well I guess that was it. I'm done painting my nails (now I'm just going to try not to mess them up while they dry) and "Privileged" is ending as I type this (I'm going to watch "The mentalist" now, even though it's not the best show ever..because I "have to" watch something).
Ki o tskuete mina-san! (^ _ ^) Matane!
I miss having something to do during the days, to come home feeling like I have accomplished something.
I miss getting to know new people and to learn new things.
I miss stressing out about tests and the relieve I feel when it's turned out well.
I miss the buildings, the books and the over all atmosphere of the university.
Hell I even miss getting up really early in the morning and hating it (because even though I choose to do it, I am so not loving mornings).
I need the University to keep my sanity, and I am looking forward to the start of term more than most things rigth now. Becuse of all the reasons above, and because I think too much when I have a lot of time on my hands (thinking is good, thinking too much is shitty). So I need to, and like to, be occupied. See I relax the best when I have a lot of stuff to do (procastination is my favourite thing as you must know by now), when I have nothing I just get bored.
It's just how I work. Odd perhaps..I don't know, but it's a part of my charm. If I (somtime in a distant future when I'm all "grown up") get a job that I really like, I could work a lot. And then I mean a lot.
That's the kind of person I am. If I think that something is important, fun, interesting..or such, I spend a lot of time with it. School has always been all tree of these for me, even though of course it has been harder during some periods, and so I have worked hard to achieve what I have wanted out of it (that being the higest grades possible).
A little older, and perhaps a tad whiser, I am now a lot calmer (yes, this is calm) about it than I once was (a teacher once told me that I would have to watch so that I didn't get burnt out), but it's still a huge thing in my life. Being smart has always been my thing (my 18 year old sister is the beautiful one, I am the smart one, and the 13 year old is..the young one I guess), so it's natural for me to strive for these things.
School is where I belong. It's where I exceed, where I feel confident and in control, it's my natural habitat.
If you felt like that about a place, you would want to get back there too, ne?
I don't really like it when it's too hot (duh!, you all got that a while ago I guess, when I bitched about it here on the blog...because you simply have to bitch about everything here), because I feel sweaty and unfresh and I can't wear as much clothes as I want (I'm not a prude, I just have a lot of body issues).
But I don't care for it being very cold eather. Sure the clothes are nice and cosy and all, but it's not that fun to be outside when it's like minus 10-15 degrees Celsius outside - which it is often enough during the Swedish winter - and you can't really stay in all the time.
So this is why I like autumn (and spring, but this post isn't about that so..). Because it's just cold enough so that you can use cardigans and such (maybe a thin jacket), but still not so freeezing that you feel like staying inside as much as possible. And the clothes are nice....not to mention the shoes! I love autumn shoes.
Also I like autumn because (other than the obvious reason that the trees are beautiful and so on) it's a time to start over. Frankly speaking, of course, that time is New Years Eve, because it's then one year turns into another and everything get's to start over, but for me this time has always been autumn (actually much more so than New Years, which frankly speaking has never been more than a continuation of the Christmas holiday to me).
I think it has to do with the fact that a new school year has always started during the fall (in Sweden we have 2 terms, one starts in August and one after New Years). Since I have gone to school most of my life, this has become when a new year, whith all that it takes with it, stars.
Since this is very much true for me, I now look forward to the autumn and a fresh start with the same excited eyes that some people look at New Years. For all my life (or at least since I started scool at 7), there has also been something new starting in the fall. And so will it be this year. Which is why I loom outside the window at the summer that's still very much there and whish that the leaves would start turning orange.
I love to be in my parents house (which is where I am staying until the end of August, living for free you know), of course I do, but still I miss school, my appartment and Lund...in short the life I built there. No matter how much I bitch and moan about it, I love to study. It's where I belong, one of the few places where I feel like I know what I am doing, and I always have something to do.
See I am a person that needs to do things almost all the time, I get bored very quickly and that never takes with it anything positive. Which is another reason for missing school and my own place. Sure I got bored a lot there too, but I think that'll change now (since this course that I'm going to take probably will make me work harder than the last), and I love that.
Anyways...I guess all that I really wanted to say was that even though I am happy at the moment (for sure, that's not just something I'm saying) a part of me long for the autumn...He he, and that was it I think.
Take care guys! (^ - ^) Matane!
(Forgive me, but sometimes you just have to write the totally pointless "look what I bought"-posts.)
I suspect that you all know by now that I didn't get a job for the summer, and that I because of this is quite (or rather - in my own opinion - very) poor. Hence I haven't had the chance to buy a whole lot of new clothes for the fall (or the summer either for that matter...of course). Since I am a girl, and a particularly materialistic one of such, this has been quite hard for me.
This is why I am pleased to tell you that today the crisis (being me going crazy an buying clothes for all my savings account) was averted (at least for a while). My parents payed for a little addition to my closet (which I must say is way to small now days). Wanna know what I got? Well this is it:
Kawaii ne?
I thought so at least ^ - ^
Being like I am (and by this I mean having tons of issues with my body and such) I am going to wear it with leggins or something like that, but it goes just as well with bare legs (preferebly a little more tanned than mine, which are white).
It's 1 size (or in some cases, even 2) smaller than I usuall have, so I am very pleased with that.
Dresses (and tunics) are my favourite thing to wear. Because it's comfortable, and it makes me feel all girly and cute.
I usually don't like chinos, but these were nice. And also (and this is very important when it comes to me and pants), they were very comfortable.
Beige is a practical color, because it goes with a lot of other colors and because it looks classy (I think at least).
There was quite a long period (like a year, maybe more) when I didn't use pants at all. See nothing really felt comfortable and I didn't like the way I looked in them. So I always had leggins and tunics, which is very nice (still - as I said - what I like the most) but a little limiting.
Therefore I am re-learning to use pants. Ganbatte me! He he.
It's oversized, I'm not sure if it really shows properly in this picture...
Anyway, it will be really nice with a pair of skinny dark jeans (I have a pair, I just don't use them very often), I think.
Plus it's really soft, so it'll be very nice to wear whence the Swedish autumn/winter creeps up on us.
Also there is a garment that I got another day (that I really like) that I thought that I'd show you:
This is oversized as well (it's very "now" you know, he he) and I think I'll be able to use it both inside and as a "jacket" when it gets a little colder outside (which'll happen very soon if I know this country).
I had to do housework to pay thisone off, and I can teell you that I think I did a lot more work than the worth of the jacket.
Anyways. This post has been sponsored by H&M and Gina tricot. Ha ha, or not. But wouldn't that have been great?
Take care guys! (^ - ^) Matane!
You know that I do go for a run/jog sometimes...mostly when I feel like I haven't been "good" enough and need to do some "proper" exercise (I know that power walking and such is good for you as well, but it's not exactly exhausting, is it?). It always feels equally good when it's over and done with, but what it also does is giving me a huge sense of anxiety as I do it. I hate running, really hate it (I can't put enough emphasis on this).
But still, as I just said, it happens from time to time that I force myself to ignore these feelings and do it anyway. Becuase it's good for me, because it'll make me feel better afterwards and because one day it might not suck as much. He he, I live on these hopes....
...but now I have decided to try a different approach to the whole "build a good endurance"-thing.
See my dad has gotten into bike riding lately (like the last year, year and a half, I can't remember exactly how long it has been), and he says that it's a great way to exercise when you don't want to run. It's not exaclty the same thing (naturally), but it basically builds the kind of stamina that I am looking for.
Plus it burns off quite a lot of calories (I can see this on my father).
So I am going to give it a try. Because it can't really make me feel worse than jogging does, and you never know how something's going to work for you until you try it. We'll just have to see how it works out for me ^_^
Matane mina-san! (^ - ^) Yoi ichinichi o!
It's 8.12 in the evening in Sweden and I am watching The Mentalist. It's about this guy that's sort of ...very attentive to details and good with people and why they do and say what they do and say. And he helps the police with murders and other crimes.
(I suppose you could sum it up like that, ne?)
Do you know the show?
I usually love crime series, but this one's not so fun (too little murder, to much talk I think). Still I watch it sometimes, mostly because there's nothing else on (and we all know that I am addicted to tv). Which in turn means that I am moderately amused at the moment. Plus I think that the episode that's on is one of the few that I have already seen. Just great. But hey, it could be worse (it has been worse).
Anyway, I also feel quite a bit shitty about myself. Because I got bored a few hours ago, and I ate waaaaaay to much Food. I shouldn't have done that, I knew how it'd make me feel even as I did it. Why I do it anyway, I have no idea; but it has become sort of a pattern of mine. Luckily it happens quite rarely (meaning: not often enough to make me fat/fatter), but that doesn't change the fact that it feels like just as big a failure every time it does.
Gah! I truly and honestly hate myself for doing this. HATE.
But tomorrow's Monday. A new week and new opportunities, and I am going to exercise properly to try to "fix" the problem once again. Yup, that's the plan.
Anyway, even though I have been a very bad girl today, there is also something I am very pleased about. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the fact that I have Cleaned the whole house. Vacuumed, dusted and picked up all crap laying around, the whole shebang.
This, I can tell you, is unusually neat for someone like me. I mean don't get me wrong, my apartment is very clean (most of the time), but that's a small place. The house is like 4 or 5 times bigger than my apartment. That's quite a lot, if you ask me at least.
So how about some applause?
Ha ha! You may ask yourself why I did this (because most of you know that I am way to selfish/lazy to do it just because the house was dirty or something like that). Well I will tell you:
I did it because my Family comes home from Rhodes in the morning, and the house (that I have lived in by myself for a week now) was a little more of a mess than I think my mother would have likes.
And even though I had to clean (which I hate, never ever expect me to be a housewife) I am happy that they're coming home. When I am in my new home I managed just fine without seeing them for months, but now that I am in my parents house I have gotten used to having them around. So I have missed them.
*Sigh* I really shouldn't have eaten so much. Sometimes I'm just so stupid.
Matane mina-san. (^ - ^) Take care.
It has been 4 years since I graduated from 9th grade, leaving behind a class that I had been in for 9 years. We were a strange bunch of people, I can tell you that, but I think it's safe to say that it was also a great group to be in. I mean we were like brothers and sisters (our gym teacher once said so and laughed, *smiles*), because that happens when you are together every day 5 days a week for such long time.
Anyway, what I am trying to say is that we were close. Not that I know all about these people (you can never know everything about another human being, that's what I believe at least), but I know a hell of a lot. They have shared a lot in my life, and I have shared a lot in theirs.
He he, so even though it's terribly early to have a reunion (they usually happen after like 10-15 years, don't they?), we're gonna have one. Because we are, as I said, a weird bunch; and because we're all (well almost all) here in Trollhättan over the summer anyway so...we have to do something with our time right?
I think I'm looking forward to it. First: Since I don't have a job I have annoyingly little to do with my time. Second: When push comes to shove they all have a special place in my heart (yup, and I don't care how corny that sounds), and so I'd love to know what's happening in their lives nowdays. After all we are all growing up, we have come far from those lost 16 year old kids that stepped out from 9C (that was out class) blinking into the sun. Those kids are gone now, and it'll be nice to see what took their place (in my case, he he, another kid, but hey that's a change too, ne?).
So now the issue is this: Because I haven't seen some of them in years, I have to look absolutly great. Ha ha, yeah I know, I have silly issues again (but you're used to it by now, aren't you?).
The reunion (for lacking a better word, and because that's what it is in ever sense of the meaning of the word) is on August 8th, so I have some time before than to "prepare" (prepare mening exercise like a mad woman so that I'll feel pretty when the time comes). Hm...I have to find something to wear. Preferably something that's already in my closet, because as you all must have gathered by now money is kind of tight these days.
What to do, what to do? Geees, I hate my sister is a lot smaller than me, because she has a lot of good clothes that I could have worrowed...if they had fitted me (I hate that she's smaller than me for a whole set of other reasons too, but I'm not going to go into that now, I'd never get done). This is a problem, a big one.
Gah! Well...I guess it'll work out somehow.
Take care guys! (^ - ^) Yoi shuumatsu o!
The preliminary results just came, and I GOT IN!
I am soooo happy, and relieved.
Now I can breath properly and focus on other things for a while...
(He he, I think you have to read the previous post to understand this one.)
Celebration is in order!
...I am just not sure what kind, or with whom. But I will work that out, because I GOT IN!
Ha ha, life's good at the moment. I mean it's pouring rain outside and all my friends seem to be to busy for me, but till things are great.
*Smiles* It was a long time since I felt pleased with myself like this.
So I will get back to feeling smugged now.
Take care guys! (^ - ^) Matane!
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